The strong man

He turned over in his bed, Tired of it all.

He crys a lot!

No one knows, he does not let anyone see. He does it in secreat.

"Imagine that!" he thinks

"A big man like me crying, I am such a baby."

He does anyway, he can't help it. His shoulders get tired from holding everything. Its all he can do to release the tention.

He has to be the husband to a demanding wife who wants more then he can offer. She never lifts a finger to help him. She never fills any of his needs. No encouragment, no loving words. Just demands and put downs that he is not good enough.

He has to bring home the bacon, he has to be the strong one.

He has to be the perfect son to his demanding mother.

He has to be the strong one for his whole family. He is the one to solve all the problems.

They all turn to him for help.

He works so hard to make everyone happy.

He has not been happy for such a long time.

He remembers when he saw beauty, It was when he was much younger.

Its seems so long ago.

He does not know how he got here. A wife that does not love him, a family that does'nt care to really see who he is.

No one trys to understand him.

He feels lost.

Everything he loved to do he no longer does.

Everything he should enjoy he does not.

He makes love to his wife in a way that he knows she wants. Not really enjoying himself at all, not really making love at all, just pretending to for her sake.

There are still moments when he sees her move slowly and softly in the moon light, he gets a little memory of what he use to see. But all his advances to get her to do something that he would enjoy. Go out with him and just enjoy something that he enjoys. She has never done that. And again his hope goes cold.

Its her demanding. Him just turning and tossing in his sleep.

Everytime he turns around he turns a new leaf. He can't do anything he really wants to do.

He is not who he wants to be.

He tells himself tomorro he will change.

He convinces himself that he is not good enough, and the problem is with him.

He does not do enough, say the right things. His guilt keeps him in this life.

He is lucky to even have a wife, lucky...so lucky to even have food and lodging.

Everyday he turns more into a cold machine.

How did life turn into this act.

Every act done for others.

No fullfillment, for no one says thank you anymore. Nor does anyone say he is any good.

He just is there and he just does what he does.

He is no good in their minds.

No one says a positive word.

A big, strong man, crying quiet so no one hears him.