Harold "Routine" Ward
Harold Ward had a very strict routine. Each morning Harold woke up at 6:50 AM. He wore pleated slack, a dress shirt and tie for his job as an accountant at "Thomas and Jacob's Accounting." Breakfast was two pieces of toast, two eggs, two strips of bacon, two cups of coffee and two vitamins, C and Flintstone. He brushed his teeth for 3 minutes with Colgate total. Wore Old spice original scent deodorant. Used dove sensitive skin. Shampooed and conditioned his hair with Pert plus. Harold arrived at work between 7:51 and 7:53 AM , as he walked by his co-workers in the morning they had a similar, satisfying conversation each and every morning.
"Morning lee, another day working for the man." Harold would state in a playful and relaxed tone.
"You got it Harold, those sons of guns, don't own us." Lee, would reply with honesty and conviction.
"Well we do what we have to for those we love" Harold would bring back perspective with this response.
"Yep, and we can't forget that." Lee would conclude.
Those would be some of the only words Harold would say until the evening when Harold and lee would walk out together and have a similar conversation. Lee in the fifteen years working with Harold never knew that Harold actually never had a family. Harold never attended the "company picnics," "Christmas parties" or "mean shakers." Lee I suppose never cared enough to think about the oddity of these absences.
Everyday though Herman drove home in his Toyota corolla a very reliable auto-mobile which he was quietly very proud of and went home to nothing. He lived in a very empty apartment with hard wood floors. It was simple and small, By now you the reader clearly understand that this customary and regular course of procedure that Herman lived is not very regular. This unimaginative, habitual life was a patterned life that Harold accepted.
At one time Harold owned a television, a dog and lived in house. It was a vastly different routine for Harold back then. He spent his evenings not in an empty house by himself.. Rather fifteen years prior when Herman stepped foot in his home after a day of work he was over run by two rambunctious toddlers and a beautiful wife of two years. Everything was so fresh at that time for Harold, it was so new! Every morning before going to work Herman would kiss Steve and James, his two twins on the foreheads and whisper, "I love you, always and forever" He gladly rolled around the hardwood floors of the kitchen with the twins while gorgeous Stephanie finished making supper.
It was a Wednesday in December, this Wednesday Harold was sick in bed with the flu..Harold questioned the flu shot he got each fall. With the consistency in which he got the flue it would be more conceivable that the flu shot they gave caused the flue and far from prevented it. Harold had quarantined himself in the spare bedroom to stay away from Stephanie and the twins. The night prior had been awful and Harold had gotten no sleep so he was hoping to sleep the morning through and beat the sickness while Steph and the twins that morning were at the pediatricians.
At 10:30 though Harold was waken from his recovery educed slumber. The phone was ringing, Harold heard it but decided to let it go to the answering machine for obvious reasons sleeping was much more important to him at the moment. With in seconds though the phone was ringing again. Harold dazed, stumbled out of his sanctuary toward the phone. As he walked toward the phone, nausea rushed to his head and his stomach..he got to the sink where he was dry heaving..he swiftly turned the sink on and used his hands as cups to drink. In between his episodes of vomiting he remembered why he had ventured to the kitchen in the first place.
With in seconds of this realization the phone rang once more. This time Harold picked up the phone.
"Hello, yes this is Harold.
"What?
"NO!"
While Stephanie was driving Steve and James to the pediatrician that morning for their monthly check up Stephanie hit a piece of black ice driving down hill, she lost control of the mini van rolling down a 40 foot bank into a group of trees in the British Columbia interior. Stephanie, Steve and James Ward were killed instantly.
At this Harold fell to his knees. Instantly he had lost his soul. Silent for only an instant. Then his insides broke to pieces. The realization that he had lost Stephanie, Steve and James could have killed him at that instant. He lie on the ground tears uncontrolled, all the love he had for them came out in a flood, his tears drenching the kitchen floor. Turning on his side he crawled up in a ball, he had to vomit but could only dry heave.
The following days were like a roller coaster, the tears would stop for moments but the pain had no where to go. Family surrounded Harold but it it was no comfort. There was nothing they could say and there was nothing they could do.
At the funeral the sight of Steph and the twins seemed to rip Harold's heart completely out. Stephanie still looked so beautiful. She lay there and all he wanted to do was hold her, kiss her... he did not want to admit they were gone. If only he could have his family back and never have to let go of them. Just one more Sunday afternoon with the twins. The fact that he would never be able to take his twins to kindergarten, never play catch with them. Oh what he lost! All he wanted was to hold them in an embrace for eternity!
Harold never did recover. His suffering morphed and the way in which he dealt with it changed. Instead of weeping, rather than remembering. He successfully shut it out. The Post dramatic stress turned into a lonely rejection of what happened. Months after his families death Harold left. He packed up and drove 1500 km away and started all over. He had nothing to live for anymore and quite literally that is what his life became, a meaningless life. A life stitched together daily by his routine. He left to get away from the memories. Memories that eat him up with lack of understanding and dreams of what he lost. The routine holds him together but also turns his mind off to reality. What kind of life is this? Where is Harold?
It was another day at work for Harold Ward. He woke up at 6:50 AM. He wore pleated slack, a dress shirt and tie for his job as an accountant at "Thomas and Jacob's Accounting." Breakfast was two pieces of toast, two eggs, two strips of bacon, two cups of coffee and two vitamins, C and Flintstone. He brushed his teeth for 3 minutes with Colgate total. Wore Old spice original scent deodorant. Used dove sensitive skin. Shampooed and conditioned his hair with Pert plus. Harold arrived at work between 7:51 and 7:53 AM , as he walked by his co-workers in the morning they had a similar, satisfying conversation each and every morning.
Harold that day was sitting eating his lunch where he ate his lunch everyday at "Mollies fine eating" across the street. While he was eating an egg salad sandwich, the same sandwich he ate every Tuesday and Thursday. Harold had just taken his final bite of his egg salad sandwich and was picking up a piece of egg-salad off of the plate when his eyes were caught by a mother walking by with two twin boys. She looked just like Stephanie! With out warning suddenly a tear fell down Harold's cheek. As he took a deep breath he smiled. . He remembered Stephanie, Steve and James and was thankful. Losing the memory of those he loved was a tragedy. A few more tears poured down his face, he wiped them away and shook his head. Harold in that moment might have found his life again as he allowed the tears to flow and his heart to heal. Once again he was broken. A Sweet and a necessary brokenness.
"Morning lee, another day working for the man." Harold would state in a playful and relaxed tone.
"You got it Harold, those sons of guns, don't own us." Lee, would reply with honesty and conviction.
"Well we do what we have to for those we love" Harold would bring back perspective with this response.
"Yep, and we can't forget that." Lee would conclude.
Those would be some of the only words Harold would say until the evening when Harold and lee would walk out together and have a similar conversation. Lee in the fifteen years working with Harold never knew that Harold actually never had a family. Harold never attended the "company picnics," "Christmas parties" or "mean shakers." Lee I suppose never cared enough to think about the oddity of these absences.
Everyday though Herman drove home in his Toyota corolla a very reliable auto-mobile which he was quietly very proud of and went home to nothing. He lived in a very empty apartment with hard wood floors. It was simple and small, By now you the reader clearly understand that this customary and regular course of procedure that Herman lived is not very regular. This unimaginative, habitual life was a patterned life that Harold accepted.
At one time Harold owned a television, a dog and lived in house. It was a vastly different routine for Harold back then. He spent his evenings not in an empty house by himself.. Rather fifteen years prior when Herman stepped foot in his home after a day of work he was over run by two rambunctious toddlers and a beautiful wife of two years. Everything was so fresh at that time for Harold, it was so new! Every morning before going to work Herman would kiss Steve and James, his two twins on the foreheads and whisper, "I love you, always and forever" He gladly rolled around the hardwood floors of the kitchen with the twins while gorgeous Stephanie finished making supper.
It was a Wednesday in December, this Wednesday Harold was sick in bed with the flu..Harold questioned the flu shot he got each fall. With the consistency in which he got the flue it would be more conceivable that the flu shot they gave caused the flue and far from prevented it. Harold had quarantined himself in the spare bedroom to stay away from Stephanie and the twins. The night prior had been awful and Harold had gotten no sleep so he was hoping to sleep the morning through and beat the sickness while Steph and the twins that morning were at the pediatricians.
At 10:30 though Harold was waken from his recovery educed slumber. The phone was ringing, Harold heard it but decided to let it go to the answering machine for obvious reasons sleeping was much more important to him at the moment. With in seconds though the phone was ringing again. Harold dazed, stumbled out of his sanctuary toward the phone. As he walked toward the phone, nausea rushed to his head and his stomach..he got to the sink where he was dry heaving..he swiftly turned the sink on and used his hands as cups to drink. In between his episodes of vomiting he remembered why he had ventured to the kitchen in the first place.
With in seconds of this realization the phone rang once more. This time Harold picked up the phone.
"Hello, yes this is Harold.
"What?
"NO!"
While Stephanie was driving Steve and James to the pediatrician that morning for their monthly check up Stephanie hit a piece of black ice driving down hill, she lost control of the mini van rolling down a 40 foot bank into a group of trees in the British Columbia interior. Stephanie, Steve and James Ward were killed instantly.
At this Harold fell to his knees. Instantly he had lost his soul. Silent for only an instant. Then his insides broke to pieces. The realization that he had lost Stephanie, Steve and James could have killed him at that instant. He lie on the ground tears uncontrolled, all the love he had for them came out in a flood, his tears drenching the kitchen floor. Turning on his side he crawled up in a ball, he had to vomit but could only dry heave.
The following days were like a roller coaster, the tears would stop for moments but the pain had no where to go. Family surrounded Harold but it it was no comfort. There was nothing they could say and there was nothing they could do.
At the funeral the sight of Steph and the twins seemed to rip Harold's heart completely out. Stephanie still looked so beautiful. She lay there and all he wanted to do was hold her, kiss her... he did not want to admit they were gone. If only he could have his family back and never have to let go of them. Just one more Sunday afternoon with the twins. The fact that he would never be able to take his twins to kindergarten, never play catch with them. Oh what he lost! All he wanted was to hold them in an embrace for eternity!
Harold never did recover. His suffering morphed and the way in which he dealt with it changed. Instead of weeping, rather than remembering. He successfully shut it out. The Post dramatic stress turned into a lonely rejection of what happened. Months after his families death Harold left. He packed up and drove 1500 km away and started all over. He had nothing to live for anymore and quite literally that is what his life became, a meaningless life. A life stitched together daily by his routine. He left to get away from the memories. Memories that eat him up with lack of understanding and dreams of what he lost. The routine holds him together but also turns his mind off to reality. What kind of life is this? Where is Harold?
It was another day at work for Harold Ward. He woke up at 6:50 AM. He wore pleated slack, a dress shirt and tie for his job as an accountant at "Thomas and Jacob's Accounting." Breakfast was two pieces of toast, two eggs, two strips of bacon, two cups of coffee and two vitamins, C and Flintstone. He brushed his teeth for 3 minutes with Colgate total. Wore Old spice original scent deodorant. Used dove sensitive skin. Shampooed and conditioned his hair with Pert plus. Harold arrived at work between 7:51 and 7:53 AM , as he walked by his co-workers in the morning they had a similar, satisfying conversation each and every morning.
Harold that day was sitting eating his lunch where he ate his lunch everyday at "Mollies fine eating" across the street. While he was eating an egg salad sandwich, the same sandwich he ate every Tuesday and Thursday. Harold had just taken his final bite of his egg salad sandwich and was picking up a piece of egg-salad off of the plate when his eyes were caught by a mother walking by with two twin boys. She looked just like Stephanie! With out warning suddenly a tear fell down Harold's cheek. As he took a deep breath he smiled. . He remembered Stephanie, Steve and James and was thankful. Losing the memory of those he loved was a tragedy. A few more tears poured down his face, he wiped them away and shook his head. Harold in that moment might have found his life again as he allowed the tears to flow and his heart to heal. Once again he was broken. A Sweet and a necessary brokenness.
By Nathan Frank
posted by Dead 2 MySelf at 1:46 PM
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